I'm gay man, in Bulgaria. Like everybody else, i have my happy moments struggling moments in life. The most important is, to have all the people i love, and my friends next to me, when i need them. I'm not typical stereotypical gay man, i'm not fitting into the "Modern Gay society (bars, prides, etc)", neither I accept the "normal gay behavior" in this century. Well, i have go gay bar, to have one two drinks, but i'm not the one who live there...
I enjoy the simple things in life. I don't want some fabulous life, full with all the pleasures, neither i want to be "The famous mr. Sexy man who everybody want to be with", because this change people. I don't like people who forget where they come from, and i notice them everywhere... in real life, Facebook, Bear411, etc... from sweet guys, they turn into arrogant, nasty people just because they make some more muscles, or have a macho boyfriend, or have the first photo session in some "Bear Magazine".... And yes, there is exceptions, guys, who stay sweet, and wonderful as they always been.I admire them for that!
I don't want to change who am I, and if people doesn't accept me for that, the path has and opposite way back... At least i'm, not fake, and i'm very painfully straight forward pal.
Fake people kill my desire to communicate with them. One thing i HATE most in my life, and that's the lie. One lie can change lives, and relationships. One lie can create a storm. Destructive power.
Dishonesty and cheat and betrayals are under this category. Manipulation also. If you want to have me as lifetime friend, be who you are. If you don't treasure my friendship/relationship, lie to me, but don't think you lie me, you lie yourself.
In my life i had a lot of downs and less ups... My mother died when i was 11... so life taught me to be tough guy, with sense in life. In school, I always was the rebel one, the one, who always was blamed for everything, and never let someone take my dignity. I always knew how to deal with my feelings, especially, seeing how the other kids's mothers came to take them to home, i always walked alone to home, just become mine was in heaven. I just smiled when seeing this. On holidays, i saw how kids get presents, lovely dinners, i had to stay in my room waiting the miracles. My father was tough person, and my grandmother was the woman who took care of me. I started working at age 14. I had to deal with school and job.. we was not rich family...I know what is not to have bread on the table. I knew life was going to beat me... so i decided to beat it back, and not to wait the miracles come alone...
In High school, i was little reserved to everybody. Being gay at this time was taboo, and it was subject for judgement from everywhere. And my father-a total homophobic redneck... Well, he died in 2005.
I fell in love for first time when i was 15, in a MAN, who was Greek. As naive boy i let him take advantage of me, but the big "surprise" was when one day he left without saying "Goodbye", not a note, NOTHING... God is my witness, i cried like baby... but did i had another choice but move on?
Same with every relationship until now. Seems i didn't met the "soul mate".... but bunch of cheats, liars, and w****s, which brain is between their legs.
When I graduated high school, on my way to get to University, i decided to admit my sexuality to every friend of mine, and see who will stay forever by my side, and who will run away...
Thanks god, only 2 ran away, the rest supported me being gay. Now iam open gay, and everybody respect me for that, ot at least they pretend. This fine with me, because it shows strength in character...
I'm proud gay man.NOBODY in this life will tell me how will i live and how will i die. If i'm on this earth, there is reason.
I LOVE to cook. God is my witness, it's like making love to someone. When people eat my food they can feel this. I love to make people laugh. I love animals. I love flowers. I LOVE photography. Music make me alive. I love everything. I have sense of humor. Books make me relaxed. My biggest treasure is my friends. I love them to death. because whats life without them? An empty sea with grey waters...
Well, thats now from me... if you like my blogs, you will get to know me much more:)
Love you my friends. Be well, and happy!
I enjoy the simple things in life. I don't want some fabulous life, full with all the pleasures, neither i want to be "The famous mr. Sexy man who everybody want to be with", because this change people. I don't like people who forget where they come from, and i notice them everywhere... in real life, Facebook, Bear411, etc... from sweet guys, they turn into arrogant, nasty people just because they make some more muscles, or have a macho boyfriend, or have the first photo session in some "Bear Magazine".... And yes, there is exceptions, guys, who stay sweet, and wonderful as they always been.I admire them for that!
I don't want to change who am I, and if people doesn't accept me for that, the path has and opposite way back... At least i'm, not fake, and i'm very painfully straight forward pal.
Fake people kill my desire to communicate with them. One thing i HATE most in my life, and that's the lie. One lie can change lives, and relationships. One lie can create a storm. Destructive power.
Dishonesty and cheat and betrayals are under this category. Manipulation also. If you want to have me as lifetime friend, be who you are. If you don't treasure my friendship/relationship, lie to me, but don't think you lie me, you lie yourself.
In my life i had a lot of downs and less ups... My mother died when i was 11... so life taught me to be tough guy, with sense in life. In school, I always was the rebel one, the one, who always was blamed for everything, and never let someone take my dignity. I always knew how to deal with my feelings, especially, seeing how the other kids's mothers came to take them to home, i always walked alone to home, just become mine was in heaven. I just smiled when seeing this. On holidays, i saw how kids get presents, lovely dinners, i had to stay in my room waiting the miracles. My father was tough person, and my grandmother was the woman who took care of me. I started working at age 14. I had to deal with school and job.. we was not rich family...I know what is not to have bread on the table. I knew life was going to beat me... so i decided to beat it back, and not to wait the miracles come alone...
In High school, i was little reserved to everybody. Being gay at this time was taboo, and it was subject for judgement from everywhere. And my father-a total homophobic redneck... Well, he died in 2005.
I fell in love for first time when i was 15, in a MAN, who was Greek. As naive boy i let him take advantage of me, but the big "surprise" was when one day he left without saying "Goodbye", not a note, NOTHING... God is my witness, i cried like baby... but did i had another choice but move on?
Same with every relationship until now. Seems i didn't met the "soul mate".... but bunch of cheats, liars, and w****s, which brain is between their legs.
When I graduated high school, on my way to get to University, i decided to admit my sexuality to every friend of mine, and see who will stay forever by my side, and who will run away...
Thanks god, only 2 ran away, the rest supported me being gay. Now iam open gay, and everybody respect me for that, ot at least they pretend. This fine with me, because it shows strength in character...
I'm proud gay man.NOBODY in this life will tell me how will i live and how will i die. If i'm on this earth, there is reason.
I LOVE to cook. God is my witness, it's like making love to someone. When people eat my food they can feel this. I love to make people laugh. I love animals. I love flowers. I LOVE photography. Music make me alive. I love everything. I have sense of humor. Books make me relaxed. My biggest treasure is my friends. I love them to death. because whats life without them? An empty sea with grey waters...
Well, thats now from me... if you like my blogs, you will get to know me much more:)
Love you my friends. Be well, and happy!
I now admire you even more.
ReplyDeleteYahia aka Rami Murad
hugs you tight and kisses you......well done Slavi! i am so proud of you!
ReplyDelete